I am a fan of Bold and Determined. I enjoy the majority of Victor Pride’s writing and have modeled some of my writing styles from him. But just because I enjoy most of his work does not mean I enjoy all of it, and his recent article is no exception.
I’ve been meaning to write about masculinity and femininity, as our current love affair with collectivism has muddled the good and bad aspects of each. Women’s movements will chastise many male characteristics as “toxic masculinity,” while hypocritically making the decision to vouch for female superiority. Men’s groups constantly attack women for “using men,” not understanding that this is merely a version of passive eugenics. The man stupid enough to give in to crush culture by thinking that a woman can make him happy (or worse, that a woman’s job is to make him happy) is a man who is too stupid to be alive.
That being said, here’s Victor Pride’s observations of what he believes are 33 things that real men™ do. The original article is here, and I suggest you read it in its entirety. It is very good, and is really 33 ways to be a more productive human being more than it is 33 ways to be a man. Keep in mind, his list is quite long, so this article will also be lengthy.
1 – Open your eyes to reality
I agree, and here’s how I interpret this: Do you want to know what reality is? Entropy and Chaos. Those are the only absolute truths. Everything else is a set of observations that people have just happened to agree on. When you come to terms that everything around you will eventually end (entropy) and nothing around you is completely organized (chaos), and resist the temptation to let these two concepts be rationalizations for not being productive, everything will make sense for you. You will stop being a raging collectivist and instead understand that the only good fight® worth fighting is you vs. you. The world does not care, so you shouldn’t care about the world. Stop trying to save something that cannot be saved.
2 – Develop a lucky attitude
I think what Pride means here is to take every last thing into account before bitching about how horrible things are. You could have absolutely nothing but not understand that you have everything. For example, I lost nearly $1000 trying to play blackjack for money over the last three or so months. That sucks. But here’s what’s awesome: I’m making money freelancing, I have owned my car for nearly 11 years and it still runs perfect, among other many awesome things. When you appreciate every little thing you have that you are taught to overlook, you’ll develop this lucky attitude.
3 – Make people pay attention to you
Ah, here’s the first thing I disagree with, at least in the concrete. Acting like a try-hard who does really outlandish things to get cheap attention is what insecure overgrown highschoolers do. If you have enough presence and knowledge of self, people will pay attention to you anyways. Acting like an attention whore is actually not masculine at all.
4 – Say no to Zen
I agree and disagree with this. Zen, or being present to the moment, is a great thing when you are physically performing something. In bowling and blackjack, this is absolutely necessary. However, if you do this kind of thing in any other practice, you’ll run the risk of chasing instant gratification.
5 – Don’t use drugs/drink alcohol regularly
Absolutely agree. I affectionately claim that I am “as close to straight edge as one can get without actually being straight edge.” I consume 1-3 drinks a week. I haven’t touched any other drugs since I kicked sleeping pills in 2009. The last time I got high was when I smoked a joint with my mother in September, even though she smokes two joints daily. Also, drugs extend far beyond alcohol, tobacco and hard drugs. Caffeine is also a no-no drug, and if you need copious amounts of soda or coffee just to “get through the day” then you need to address your energy levels, stat.
6 – Maintain high testosterone and low estrogen levels
I would counter this by arguing that make sure these levels fit what your sex is and how these levels can help or hurt you. For example, I’m a heterosexual man. Therefore, it would behoove me to maintain high T levels. You should make sure that your genetic makeup matches up with your testosterone and estrogen levels and do not muddle them.
7 – Don’t have anal sex (if you are a man)
This is where Pride turns into a macho prick. Which is fine, as its his angle. I was raped at 16. Does that mean I can’t be a real man? I was held up at knifepoint, did I really have a choice? Your sexual preferences do not really determine how masculine you are. Your decisions do. I know gay men who were had more masculine traits than some straight men.
8 – Choose the right partner
The correct thing to do is to pursue an Open Marriage. When you marry someone who is not only alright with you being romantic with others, but will also assist in that process (and vice versa), that is when you know you have found the right partner. Monogamous relationships are what crush culture (and all the horrors that follow) are founded on. Avoid this trap. Resist the temptation to pursue a monogamous marriage. And Pride is spot on when he mentions that your partner should be your business partner and not your true love™. It is good to know that Pride dislikes crush culture just as much as I do.
9 – Don’t be too nice
I agree. There’s a big difference between being friendly/courteous and having the expectation that your good deeds will be rewarded (what being “nice” is). If you want to do good things for people, great. Just keep your expectations low. Good deeds with low expectations = Kind. Good deeds with high expectations = Nice. Kind people are trusted. No one trusts a nice person.
10 – Make a lot of money
I agree, but to a fault. These days, it does not take a lot of money to live comfortably. Especially if you are a minimalist, you can live off of a minimum wage pretty easily. I did this for well over five years and still had the ability to rent a nice apartment and go on road trips/vacations at least twice a year. So I would rather change this to “make a lot of money to save up for your future.” Making money to impress people with possessions is a degenerate act.
11 – Stop watching internet pornography
I covered this in my last article. I don’t really believe in stopping anything completely, but I do believe in moderation. And when it comes to internet pornography, moderation is a must, as well as very short watch time. For me, 30-60 minutes is the most pornography you can watch per day. Any longer, and you are an addict. Social media is the same way. If you are using social media to get a self esteem boost, you have not finished high school yet.
12 – Be well read
This won’t just make you a better man, but a better person. Read 1 million words (roughly 65000 lines) per year minimum. Yes, one million. But wait! What kinds of books/blogs? Certainly not cheap shot fiction books or degenerate collectivist blogs. Read stuff that relates to you and your own values and philosophies. And when I mean read, I mean READ. Read slow. Take notes. Make a blog and write a response like I’m doing here. Do this for 2-4 hours a week and watch your IQ go up by 10 or 20 points. For once, the public service announcements and Ad Council is right: Reading really does expand your mind. But you need to know how to do it. Most do not.
13 – Always wear a mask of success
I agree. This is what being self aware is all about. There is one common thread between anyone who is successful (and by successful, I mean has a high degree of freedom): They are self aware. This is the mask of success.
14 – Develop a personal uniform
This is something I have recently been doing. The “personal uniform” shows exactly what you represent. Because I see gray areas in almost everything, and because it looks good on me, there’s never a moment where I am not wearing gunmetal gray. That color represents who I am to a T. So when people ask “why do you always wear the same gunmetal gray stuff, Joel?” I go “Cuz gray is who I am, gray is where I play.”
15 – Work every day
I agree, and a lot of people see “work” as going to a place, punching a time clock, hanging out and getting chastised by bosses, patrons, or students for 8 to 10 hours, then leaving, sometimes even taking work home with you (teachers need to do this). That is not work, that’s called being a slave. Pride (and myself) are talking about being productive. Me writing this is being productive. Me going on upwork, getting assignments (mostly to write blog articles just like this) and then getting paid for them is productive. Me practicing card counting on blackjack apprenticeship is productive. Doing this kind of stuff every day makes me very happy.
16. Have a muse that makes you work for more
A muse is a source of inspiration. Others call it a Mission. To me, a muse or mission is a lifelong intangible goal. Having more money, better relationships, a good physique, or a degree from a cool school are not missions or muses. Those are goals for overgrown high schoolers. Recall from earlier in the article that I was raped at 16. Helping rape victims (of any sex or orientation) recover is my muse. My concept of Immortal Individuality is another lifelong goal of mine. If you do not have a purpose such as this, you are not alive, full stop.
17. He a high energy entrepreneur
This is very closely related to the last point. I will be writing about this later, but all humans on the planet have exactly three things to offer: Their experiences, their observations, and their support. You can use these things to make money. I intend on doing so. No. It will not be easy. It may take a very long time, but it is possible. And like Pride says, it is not possible to free if you work for someone.
18. Don’t ask for respect, take it
Again, this is where Pride turns macho. I have a much different take on respect than most. As I mentioned in this article, respect is earned as a result of the decisions you make and the actions you take. That being said, you should assume respect. If you do not intentionally do malicious things, you should expect respect. When Pride says “don’t ask for respect” he likely means don’t waste your energy impressing others hoping they will respect you. Also, he is spot on when Pride says that if you do not respect yourself, no one will respect you.
19. Do not apologize
More macho musings by Pride, but I understand what he is talking about. There is a major difference between apologizing for being malicious and inconveniencing somebody and apologizing as a form of approval seeking. I would just change this to “do not seek approval.”
20. Learn how to defend yourself
I agree. However, there is a difference between defending yourself and being paranoid, throwing walls around yourself, and placing yourself in what I call a “bubble of steel.” If you feel like you have been inconvenienced, you should not be afraid to make a case for yourself. But if you are wrong, be self aware enough to know that you do not need to be right about everything all of the time.
21 – Be independent
Completely agree. Not much to say here, as everybody who reads this knows that I am obsessed with freedom. You should be too.
22 – Live in the future
Agree. And as I mentioned previously, being “in the moment” is only reserved for competing. When you are creating a lifestyle, you must learn how to ask yourself “how will this affect me in the long term?” Virtually no one does this. Its their funeral.
23 – Exercise every day
This is necessary not only to be a great man, but to be a healthy person in general. Do you want to avoid tens of thousands of dollars in hospital bills in your old age? Do some kind of physical activity every day. If you do not, then don’t come running (see what I did there?). Don’t make excuses. For example, I’m writing this while watching a video game marathon in the background. The next three games they play are ones I want to watch, making me not want to go to the gym. That’s fine, I’ll just do a bunch of core exercises (push ups, squats, and jumping jacks, to be specific) at the house.
24 – Develop the body of a spartan
Despite the efforts of collectivist “body positive” movements (who hypocritically act mean to anyone who does not have the same physique as they), we still size each other up based on physique. Therefore, Pride is right. You should be doing all you can to make sure you have a very attractive physique. He says that everyone should have a 6 pack once in their life. Although I disagree with that as not everyone is genetically capable of having a 6 pack, the fact still remains that you should do all you can to have a healthy physique.
25 – Learn from the best and ignore the rest
The problem with this is, how do you know who the best is? I can’t agree with this. It is much better to collect all kinds of advice, compare them next to each other, and find similarities. That is how you find out what the fundamentals of something are.
26 – Don’t compare yourself to others
Again, absolutely agree. Get out of high school. For real, this time. If you compare yourself to others, you have not finished high school yet.
27 – Think twice before saying nothing
This is what being self aware is all about. And also be aware of the thought processes of others when speaking. It is definitely better to be a better active listener than to just run your mouth. Need to learn how to be an active listener? Go to a counselor or therapist, – and take notes of how they are responding to what you say.
28 – Never complain
There are three types of complaining; the type of complaining where you have a grievance and are making fun of it, the type where the grievance is shared between yourself and others, and the type of complaining where you force others to support you. Do not engage in the last one unless you really want to be a bitter, miserable person your whole life.
29 – Harness your sexual energy
There is nothing worse than being massively horny AND unproductive. What Pride means by this statement is that if you are horny, be productive if you do not currently have someone to have sex with. What is misunderstood is that because of the mentalities that crush culture has thrust upon us, having pent up sexual energy is not only a physical thing but also a mental thing. This is why internet pornography is so dangerous. It is because it provides short term satisfaction of sexual energy that, while nonexistent, feels real.
30 – Strive to be brave
I agree, but there is a difference between taking foolish risks and being courageous. For example, I have set off on a journey to make location independent income. I am not necessarily risking anything for this, but it is courageous in its own way. Gambling, however, requires a lot of courage but it is not smart. It is a good thing to know the difference.
31 – Increase your ego, don’t kill your ego
This is yet another case where self awareness is the one trait that separates an arrogant jerk from a confident person. I am a very confident person. I can sometimes come off as cocky, but I do not take myself so seriously that I believe I am perfect in everything. What Pride is getting at is developing knowledge of self. This is what everyone needs and what should increase. You should say to yourself that you deserve great things as long as you put in an honest effort.
32 – Make yourself immortal by leaving work that will live on after you’re gone
While this does sound arrogant, it is also kind of your job. As I mentioned, the three things that everyone has to offer are experiences, observations and support. The reason why you want to make yourself immortal is because if you were really selfish, wouldn’t you be obligated to share these things, this way when somebody else comes along who has had the same experiences as yourself?
And the final point is to read his blogs. And why shouldn’t he promote it? Its quite clear that, while macho at times, Victor Pride knows what he is talking about.
The next time I write about this, I will detail some aspects that I believe make a good woman.