Accept, Adapt, Adjust in Practice: Sexual Misconduct Charges, Revisited

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You put your job in jeopardy and can get in trouble with the law by doing stupid things? I had no idea!

Well, it seems that this emergence of famous dudes getting hit with sexual misconduct charges has finally (somewhat) hit home. Pictured above is former WWE performer Eric Ardnt (stage name Enzo Amore). He got fired from WWE because he was being investigated for rape without telling WWE that there were investigations. Its unfortunate, but it is the world we live in. If you are a massively public figure (which we will ALL become eventually), it would behoove you to be aware of the things you are doing, now more than ever. This does not bother me one iota, but I do agree it may become bothersome for boys and men in the future. Does this mean I’m going to turn into some psychotic POS about it? You should already know the answer to this question.

If you want a quick opinion of what I think of Ardnt being fired, here it is now. This is not the first stupid thing he has done. Look at the picture above. If you were a famous person, with many kids and teenagers watching (and looking up) to you, would you consider this a responsible thing to do? Better yet, does this seem like something a grown man would do? Ardnt also had a former tag team partner who was injured during a match. After said match, he insulted the partner turned adversary in a tweet. Does that seem like something a grown man, supposedly a professional, would do?

These allegations were the icing on the cake for Ardnt getting fired. In fact, I would argue that if Ardnt did one more stupid thing, irrespective of his allegations, he would be either suspended, told to take some time off, or fired all the same. After seeing the stupid things Ardnt did away from his job, I don’t feel one shred of sympathy for him. If you do stupid things, and you are a grown man, and you are somewhat famous, expect to pay for them. If Ardnt did not do those stupid things leading up to the investigation, perhaps I would have a different position. But he did not, and therefore there is no need to discuss that.

Now, let’s focus on what I want this article to really be about. I see all of these famous guys getting hit with all these charges in a much different way that most. Because I have made the decision to not be a collectivist like many of us are trained to be, my responses to this kind of stuff tend to be much more rational. Does this make me a better person? Absolutely not. I just decide to interpret events in a way that can help me.

However, I do understand that seeing this kind of stuff can make a man apprehensive to pursuing sex with a woman. I get that. I, too, was just as apprehensive when I was nearly expelled from school for creeping out one of my high school crushes, causing her to accuse me of harassment. And yes, it made me extremely paranoid about pursuing any kind of romantic relations with any kind of girl for a very long time. In a way, I wish I had heard about all of this stuff now, this way I could know what not to do when trying to pursue romance with a girl.

And this leads me to the conclusion of this article. To me, I think of three things when I witness an event that hits home and even remotely affects me. I go through this process every time I encounter something that remotely concerns me:

Do I have the courage to accept what has happened as just history taking place (and repeating itself in some aspect, we have collectivism and our obsession with thinking in terms of class, race, and gender to thank for this)? My answer to this is yes. Yes I do.

How am I going to adapt to any changes that may take place because of this?

What adjustments will I have to make in light of these events that will make me happier?

This is all I think about when I encounter events such as these. In order to do this, you must be able to be objective and not emotional. I’ll use the event of my high school crush wanting me expelled for creeping her out as an example. Why did she act the way she did? Well, I was acting like a lost puppy around her. What does this do to a person, other than annoy them? Well, if the person likes you and has wild expectations, it places (unnecessary) pressure on them. And since nobody really likes unnecessary pressure placed on them, they will do whatever it takes to remove said pressure. Thus, my crush wanted me to go away for ever. I cannot blame her.

So allow me to explain, objectively, what happened to Ardnt. First of all, the woman he was fooling around with had a history of being unstable, and a history of (irresponsible) substance use. If I were Ardnt, I would have walked away right there. They had sex, and she probably had massive expectations for Ardnt afterwards, which Ardnt did not meet for her. OR Ardnt forced her to have sex with him. And this does not seem too far fetched, seeing as Ardnt is the type to be mature enough to draw a phallic symbol as his licence signature.

Now let’s say I’m Ardnt. I have sex with a woman who really likes me, sees a lot of value in me, and wants not only sex from me, but good company as well as possibly money/expensive dates/jewlery etc. What would I do? If I had as much money as Ardnt, I would treat her to a nice place after the sex (which I do with most women I have sex with anyways), I would provide company after the sex (which I do anyways), and then I would tell her that I’m looking for a woman who does not want me only for my possessions and/or money.

Did Ardnt do any of this? Even off of TV, he does not seem to be the type to be the one to do such a thing. He dabbles in recording hip hop, which revolves around objectifying women. Oh well, its his funeral.

This is how I choose to adapt to these kinds of things. Women understand that they can use their sexuality as power, and more and more realize that they can finally have sex on their terms instead of on the man’s terms. What many forget is that for millennia, all things sexual were decided on a man’s terms. So now women want sex on their terms. If all they want is good company and (possibly) an expensive dinner as terms of a sexual relationship, then what do I have to worry about?

I once shared a bed with (but did not have sex with) a girl who I picked up at my former job. She specifically told me that if we were to have sex, she would want food after. This cannot get any easier, boys. Women are now free to openly determine the terms of endearment when it comes to sex as well as punish men who pursue sex with them without agreeing to their terms. Don’t like their terms? Move on to the next woman. This does not seem like a complicated thing to me. Allow me to ask: Does anyone reading this think that Ardnt thought of any of this before he had sex with his accuser? Again, he does not seem like the type.

And there’s my adjustment: Mentioning sex around women I am interested in no matter what they have to say about it. We’re becoming much more sex-positive than ever before, so why not take advantage of it? Women who bring up “rape culture” (which is really crush culture taken to an extreme) are often extremely horny and pursue sex as aggressively as some men. They just wish to have sex on their terms. And trust me, their terms are NOT as bad as many think. Many just want good company as well as good sex. They want men to perform well and please them during sex.

“But Joelsuf! What about women who agree to sex, then regret it and file a rape charge?”

The answer to that is easy. Make sure the woman you have sex with does not regret it. Even better, give her plenty of incentive to have sex with you again. Again, this is not complicated at all.

“But what if the woman is just malicious and wants to file a rape charge to get revenge or something?”

If you do a woman wrong as a man, then yes, the consequences are much more present than they were years ago. Its unfortunate, but if you don’t adapt to it, its your funeral.

As I mentioned, this kind of stuff is out in the open now. Why not mention these things anyways? I, for one, joke about it: “I’m not gonna get hit with a misconduct charge because I flirted with you, am I? Because that would be just a little bit inconvenient for me.”

“But Joelsuf! That’s being awkward!”

Not if you’re confident about it and do not care about specific results. And definitely not if you talk about sex with the woman you want to have sex with anyways. Which not only will remove the pressure involved, but women like it.

“Well I think this is a which hunt and its wrong! It’s a form of McCarthyism and we need to do something about it?”

This is a fair observation, and these kinds of findings have inconvenienced certain men in their pursuit of sex. But why waste time screaming about it? So you can have sex on your terms again? I wouldn’t mind that, but I wouldn’t mind that because I am a man. I have a natural bias towards this kind of thing. But unlike any given collectivist, I am aware of this. Therefore, I choose not to waste my time fighting this.

And you can make the choice too. When you analyze events like this, you can let it scare you and make you paranoid. Or you can choose to analyze it objectively, determine what changes you need to make, then make said changes.

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